I could fall in love with you only if the seasons didn't change

My life changes with the seasons,
My days are dark and gray.
The hours grow increasingly unproductive as the snow now hardening into ice becomes
filth- covered.
Bleak and hallow, no light or warmth to guide my way.
I spend my days shivering under blankets made of fleece,
and socks made of wool,
and tattered sweatshirts made of cotton.
I sleep till three, and when I wake I curse the sky and vow to continue to hibernate.
I pull the covers back over my head, having only the motivation to breathe, although that too, often, becomes a difficult task.

When the spring comes, and the sun begins to warm the sidewalks,
and a gentle breeze rolls through my window caressing my face on that first spring day,
I know that I am born again.
I peel the covers back, take off my fleece and wool, and smile at the sky peering through the open crack of my window.
Spring is here at last.

Inevitably with spring comes a renewed motivation to take on the world, and likewise, the world seems to possess a renewed interest in taking on me
Old friends and new seek to gather in the daylight, exchange numbers and promises to make plans real soon.
Guys that I haven't seen since I was a size 2, glance my way, suddenly wanting to brighten my day.
Apparently under the gleam of the sunlight I am desirable.
The neighborhood boys who wouldn't let me play with their toys are now banging on my door to see if I can come out and play.

No matter how many seasons have passed, I still revel in the attention,
It is nice to dance under the sun and feel wanted
Most of these boys are 'fly by night' as my mother would say
I know they just are interested in me for one day
When my heart aches for love, on a rainy day, they will be gone
These neighborhood boys are just looking for a ride.
I am like a toy that they want to play with but will inevitably lose interest in after one usage.
and soon they will realize that I am not worth the money they spent.

Out of all the summer flings that I inevitably have, every other summer, there comes a time when someone special arrives and makes me think they are more than just a fling.
This person is always someone of Jewish descent, always someone with a shy reserved nature, someone smart and driven, but in need of nurturing.

This person arrives into my life by surprise,
always someone from my past, an old elementary school friend, a boy I used to know from camp, a pre-school aged playmate, who is suddenly all grown up.

Always someone from my past. Which makes it all the more a whirlwind courtship.
The stars seem to align in such a way that I think 'this could be the one' and I fall head over heels in love,
so in love that my mind and the reality of our circumstances hasn't a chance to catch up
We fall hard and we fall fast and in the end I am the only one left who can't seem to pick myself up off the ground.

Inevitably the seasons will change again.
The sun will have gone away, and the darkness will return,
and I will be alone again, left to endure another brutal winter surrounded and suffocating under a wave of fleece, wool and cotton.