a list of numbers, names and positions,
a laundry list of days, weeks, months and years gone by.
i scour old journals for your name, for proof that you existed, proof that my memory of you is real
i am stuck in this time warp where I haven't changed yet somehow everyone else in my life has,
i sit numbing myself with Southern Comfort and razor blades and folksy chick rock
while you are in bed with countless lovers, all so much more significant than I was
your name is just another name on a piece of paper anyway
and i am just another notch on your belt buckle.
it doesn't much matter what we had
Or the promises we made to each other that no matter how many times the tides ripped us apart, we'd always float back out to sea until we reached each other again.
I miss the way you looked at me, stared at me from across the room, the way you now look at her.
The way your eyes sparkled as you watched me when you thought I wasn't looking, and all the times we'd stare at each other longingly both too young or too scared to tell the other what was really on our minds
I am not scared to tell you what has long been on my mind, but now you are somebody elses lover, someone elses possession.
I no longer have the right to stare at you, or worship you the way I once did.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Winter Break Obsessions
With my Winter Break more than half over I have discovered quite a number of things that have kept me entertained and occupied over the last three weeks. The following is a list of my Winter Break must-haves.
Food
1. Rice Pudding-Specifically both Kozy Shack's Original and European Style variations on rice pudding. Omg, obsessed. I am polishing off a 22oz tub of the stuff every day-two days. It's bad.
2. Egg Beaters- I have abstained from most dairy due to my lactose intolerance. The joy that is eggs have been missing from my life for the last 2-3 years. But with my discovery of Egg Beaters, specifically the Garden Vegetable kind I can finally enjoy breakfast.
3.Dark Chocolate- I have never been a big chocolate person. While many of my female friends at college would polish off anything chocolate especially when it is that-time-of-the-month, I always replied "meh", but lately dark chocolate has been on my radar all month long and I am now a huge fan.
4. New Jersey sushi-I always thought the Chinese take-out across the street from my building that answered my prayers a few years back and started serving a fairly extensive array of sushi and Japanese food was pretty close to the best of the best as far as sushi goes. Boy was I wrong. Finally I met a wonderful guy who actually shares if not rivals my passion and albeit addiction to sushi and he has introduced me to the wonders that is sushi from another state. Who knew?
5.Onions- Onions were never on the top of my veggie list because who really wants to eat a vegetable that makes you cry just by cutting it, but I have developed a liking for onions. They have found a lovely place in my Egg Beater omelets and in salads.
Netflix
Netflix has been around for god knows how long but I have finally made use of its wonderful pleasures. While I still live at home with my parents, sans a tv to call my own, the connection to the outside world and to boundless entertainment is relegated to my laptop and my laptop alone. So, something like Netflix is a perfect vehicle for me to be able to watch everything from old tv shows that I haven't seen since I was a teenager like SNL episodes from the 90's, and Dawson's Creek as well as old movies I have never seen such as Pretty Woman and Last Tango in Paris all at my finger tips. It's marvelous. I can receive dvd's in the mail that I can watch on my laptop at my desk, or watch movies and tv shows at the touch of my finger instantly while reclining in bed(more of the latter than the former). It's been a great way to stay in bed yet be entertained while I am on vacation from Touro.
Food
1. Rice Pudding-Specifically both Kozy Shack's Original and European Style variations on rice pudding. Omg, obsessed. I am polishing off a 22oz tub of the stuff every day-two days. It's bad.
2. Egg Beaters- I have abstained from most dairy due to my lactose intolerance. The joy that is eggs have been missing from my life for the last 2-3 years. But with my discovery of Egg Beaters, specifically the Garden Vegetable kind I can finally enjoy breakfast.
3.Dark Chocolate- I have never been a big chocolate person. While many of my female friends at college would polish off anything chocolate especially when it is that-time-of-the-month, I always replied "meh", but lately dark chocolate has been on my radar all month long and I am now a huge fan.
4. New Jersey sushi-I always thought the Chinese take-out across the street from my building that answered my prayers a few years back and started serving a fairly extensive array of sushi and Japanese food was pretty close to the best of the best as far as sushi goes. Boy was I wrong. Finally I met a wonderful guy who actually shares if not rivals my passion and albeit addiction to sushi and he has introduced me to the wonders that is sushi from another state. Who knew?
5.Onions- Onions were never on the top of my veggie list because who really wants to eat a vegetable that makes you cry just by cutting it, but I have developed a liking for onions. They have found a lovely place in my Egg Beater omelets and in salads.
Netflix
Netflix has been around for god knows how long but I have finally made use of its wonderful pleasures. While I still live at home with my parents, sans a tv to call my own, the connection to the outside world and to boundless entertainment is relegated to my laptop and my laptop alone. So, something like Netflix is a perfect vehicle for me to be able to watch everything from old tv shows that I haven't seen since I was a teenager like SNL episodes from the 90's, and Dawson's Creek as well as old movies I have never seen such as Pretty Woman and Last Tango in Paris all at my finger tips. It's marvelous. I can receive dvd's in the mail that I can watch on my laptop at my desk, or watch movies and tv shows at the touch of my finger instantly while reclining in bed(more of the latter than the former). It's been a great way to stay in bed yet be entertained while I am on vacation from Touro.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
1.1.11
Well, 2011 is here you guys.
As it is customary to make a New Year's Resolution and I am a sucker for tradition, here are some hopes/dreams/goals etc. for 2011.
1. Walk more because I don't nearly walk enough. *Stay away from the Q10 bus no matter how late, early, cold or wet it is and how hot, cold, lazy or tired I am feeling. WALK it off BITCH.
2. Go to bed earlier, so at the very least I am asleep before the sun comes up and awake for more than an hour before the sun sets.
3. This means doing something relaxing before bed that allows my mind to detox from all the stimulation it gets all day long.
4. Go to yoga classes and work out at home.
5. Eat healthier and cook more for myself seeing as I find fault with the majority of meals my mother cooks for my family.
6. Text less and talk on the phone more.(this one is going to be a toughie)
7. Make a more concerted effort to stay in more frequent contact with my friends and eliminate contact with the undesirable people that treat me like a sex toy.
8. Put together a bartending resume and spend as many days as it takes distributing my resume to bars in Queens and Manhattan.
9. Over analyze less.(another one that will be extra challenging)
10. Start figuring out more ways to save money, specifically using coupons and sales when shopping.
11. Continue to get stellar grades and kick grad school's ass!(got a 3.7 GPA this semester BABY!)
12. Look into doing more volunteer work and flea markets.
PLACES TO GO, PEOPLE TO SEE, THINGS TO DO IN 2011:
1. Go to AC and actually go dancing.
2. Go back to the Jersey Shore next summer.
3. Go to South Street Seaport.
4. Go visit some of the museums in the city that I haven't visited in years.
5. Flea Markets
6. Go see a Broadway show and or concert
7. Try one of those fancy, 4 or 5 star sushi restaurants in the city.
8. Go see the Statue of Liberty.
9. Take a trip with my girl friends for Spring Break some place warm.
10. Join the NASW(National Association of Social Workers).
11. Watch more movies on Netflix and at the Kew Gardens Cinema and IFC theater.
12. Blog more.
13. Get better at single crochet and learn to double and triple crochet.
14. Scrap book pictures from college and the last 2 1/2 years.
.....more to be added as the year progresses....
Here's to us all checking things off lists in 2011.
As it is customary to make a New Year's Resolution and I am a sucker for tradition, here are some hopes/dreams/goals etc. for 2011.
1. Walk more because I don't nearly walk enough. *Stay away from the Q10 bus no matter how late, early, cold or wet it is and how hot, cold, lazy or tired I am feeling. WALK it off BITCH.
2. Go to bed earlier, so at the very least I am asleep before the sun comes up and awake for more than an hour before the sun sets.
3. This means doing something relaxing before bed that allows my mind to detox from all the stimulation it gets all day long.
4. Go to yoga classes and work out at home.
5. Eat healthier and cook more for myself seeing as I find fault with the majority of meals my mother cooks for my family.
6. Text less and talk on the phone more.(this one is going to be a toughie)
7. Make a more concerted effort to stay in more frequent contact with my friends and eliminate contact with the undesirable people that treat me like a sex toy.
8. Put together a bartending resume and spend as many days as it takes distributing my resume to bars in Queens and Manhattan.
9. Over analyze less.(another one that will be extra challenging)
10. Start figuring out more ways to save money, specifically using coupons and sales when shopping.
11. Continue to get stellar grades and kick grad school's ass!(got a 3.7 GPA this semester BABY!)
12. Look into doing more volunteer work and flea markets.
PLACES TO GO, PEOPLE TO SEE, THINGS TO DO IN 2011:
1. Go to AC and actually go dancing.
2. Go back to the Jersey Shore next summer.
3. Go to South Street Seaport.
4. Go visit some of the museums in the city that I haven't visited in years.
5. Flea Markets
6. Go see a Broadway show and or concert
7. Try one of those fancy, 4 or 5 star sushi restaurants in the city.
8. Go see the Statue of Liberty.
9. Take a trip with my girl friends for Spring Break some place warm.
10. Join the NASW(National Association of Social Workers).
11. Watch more movies on Netflix and at the Kew Gardens Cinema and IFC theater.
12. Blog more.
13. Get better at single crochet and learn to double and triple crochet.
14. Scrap book pictures from college and the last 2 1/2 years.
.....more to be added as the year progresses....
Here's to us all checking things off lists in 2011.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Thank You 2010
2010 was a good year.
In fact, as years go it was the best.
They say the way you spend your New Year's Eve is the way you will spend your year.
I spent last year with my wonderful best friend Rita and her family in her cozy house in the Northern suburbs of New Jersey eating delicious Russian food and drinking.
That is a metaphor for how the rest of 2010 went for me.
I ate lots of good food, with lots of good people and just enjoyed myself.
2010 was a year that was hopeful. Literally consumed with possibilities both professionally and romantically.
I accomplished many goals large and small, some of which were New Year's Resolutions.
In typical Lizzie fashion I will make a list of some of the personal highlights of 2010!
1.) I GOT INTO TOURO GRADUATE SCHOOL'S MASTERS OF SOCIAL WORK PROGRAM- Graduate School has meant the world to me. I wish I had done it right out of college. I love the school, the program, the professors, and most significantly learning about a profession that I am passionate about. Discovering a career that I am passionate about has made learning exciting. This feeling, this connection that I have for Social Work, is the missing link. I sit in class and feel part of, unlike much of my school experiences prior where I felt detached and disconnected. It's been a blessing.
2.) DR. MCDREAMY- Who would have thought this little boy whose adorable baby pictures I had spent much of my life staring at, would come into my life like this? Who would have thought I would be dating someone my mother set me up with. And, who would have thought my mom would actually manage to set me up with a Doctor!?!! Through ups, downs, laughs, debates, and many embarrassing moments(most often on my end) time shared with him has been nothing short of amazing.
3.)BOSTON-It was the best of times, the worst of times. I had wanted to visit Boston since I was 13 and my camp went on a 5 day trip there that I missed thanks to my parents pulling me out of camp early that summer. And back in April I finally got to. My fabulous friend Nattaly who was studying at Boston College got to play host and tour guide showing us many of the sights that the city of Boston has to offer. The Liberty trail, Quincy Market, Little Italy, Salem, Harvard and the Sam Adams Brewery. It was the last time all 4 of the Jewish BOR Whores as my lovely college girlfriends call ourselves were together.
4.)BARTENDING SCHOOL-I had always wanted to learn to bartend and it finally occurred to me over the summer to go for it. A two week course at New York Bartending School taught me how to make everything from Manhattan's to Cosmo's, Bay Breeze's to Blow Job shots, and all the wine, spirits, beer and cordials in between. I also managed to make 24 different drinks in under 6 minutes. Hopefully I can get a job in 2011 and put those skills to use.
5.)EBAY,AMAZON,ETSY, OH, MY-One of my small goals was to sell my stuff online. My mother and I have started to make a small dent and a decent sized profit selling crafts, clothes, books and dvd's online.
6.)FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE-I finally got control of my finances which were under my parents clutches for the past 25 years. With the money I have made from my online business sales I have been able to establish a little bit of financial independence and even bought myself a brand new laptop back in October which I am using to type this entry.
7.)YOGA-I have rediscovered yoga in the last two months through an awesome studio with locations throughout Manhattan called Yoga to the People. I enjoy the whole experience of yoga and the way it gently transforms your mind, body and soul. Hopefully 2011 will mark a deeper exploration and dedication to attending more yoga classes.
I think I will end the list at 7. 7 is a nice lucky number, or so they say. These and so many more reasons are why I am thankful to have had a happy, joyous, and exciting 2010.
Goodbye 2010, it's been a pleasure!
See you all next year!
Love,
Elizabeth Stacy
In fact, as years go it was the best.
They say the way you spend your New Year's Eve is the way you will spend your year.
I spent last year with my wonderful best friend Rita and her family in her cozy house in the Northern suburbs of New Jersey eating delicious Russian food and drinking.
That is a metaphor for how the rest of 2010 went for me.
I ate lots of good food, with lots of good people and just enjoyed myself.
2010 was a year that was hopeful. Literally consumed with possibilities both professionally and romantically.
I accomplished many goals large and small, some of which were New Year's Resolutions.
In typical Lizzie fashion I will make a list of some of the personal highlights of 2010!
1.) I GOT INTO TOURO GRADUATE SCHOOL'S MASTERS OF SOCIAL WORK PROGRAM- Graduate School has meant the world to me. I wish I had done it right out of college. I love the school, the program, the professors, and most significantly learning about a profession that I am passionate about. Discovering a career that I am passionate about has made learning exciting. This feeling, this connection that I have for Social Work, is the missing link. I sit in class and feel part of, unlike much of my school experiences prior where I felt detached and disconnected. It's been a blessing.
2.) DR. MCDREAMY- Who would have thought this little boy whose adorable baby pictures I had spent much of my life staring at, would come into my life like this? Who would have thought I would be dating someone my mother set me up with. And, who would have thought my mom would actually manage to set me up with a Doctor!?!! Through ups, downs, laughs, debates, and many embarrassing moments(most often on my end) time shared with him has been nothing short of amazing.
3.)BOSTON-It was the best of times, the worst of times. I had wanted to visit Boston since I was 13 and my camp went on a 5 day trip there that I missed thanks to my parents pulling me out of camp early that summer. And back in April I finally got to. My fabulous friend Nattaly who was studying at Boston College got to play host and tour guide showing us many of the sights that the city of Boston has to offer. The Liberty trail, Quincy Market, Little Italy, Salem, Harvard and the Sam Adams Brewery. It was the last time all 4 of the Jewish BOR Whores as my lovely college girlfriends call ourselves were together.
4.)BARTENDING SCHOOL-I had always wanted to learn to bartend and it finally occurred to me over the summer to go for it. A two week course at New York Bartending School taught me how to make everything from Manhattan's to Cosmo's, Bay Breeze's to Blow Job shots, and all the wine, spirits, beer and cordials in between. I also managed to make 24 different drinks in under 6 minutes. Hopefully I can get a job in 2011 and put those skills to use.
5.)EBAY,AMAZON,ETSY, OH, MY-One of my small goals was to sell my stuff online. My mother and I have started to make a small dent and a decent sized profit selling crafts, clothes, books and dvd's online.
6.)FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE-I finally got control of my finances which were under my parents clutches for the past 25 years. With the money I have made from my online business sales I have been able to establish a little bit of financial independence and even bought myself a brand new laptop back in October which I am using to type this entry.
7.)YOGA-I have rediscovered yoga in the last two months through an awesome studio with locations throughout Manhattan called Yoga to the People. I enjoy the whole experience of yoga and the way it gently transforms your mind, body and soul. Hopefully 2011 will mark a deeper exploration and dedication to attending more yoga classes.
I think I will end the list at 7. 7 is a nice lucky number, or so they say. These and so many more reasons are why I am thankful to have had a happy, joyous, and exciting 2010.
Goodbye 2010, it's been a pleasure!
See you all next year!
Love,
Elizabeth Stacy
Saturday, November 20, 2010
For a Boy
In childhood we were innocent.
Bright blue eyes, baby soft skin, and everything was pure.
For years and decades we were apart,
you were just the little boy with the yellow hair and big blue eyes that peered at me through your baby pictures
Time and years and distance,
childhood, adolescence,
all the while we never knew each other.
Adulthood is where we met,
though it was like meeting for the very first time.
I never saw it coming but that is how it always happens.
It's when you aren't looking for the light that the light finds you.
Things have changed since then
since the days of Fisher Price toys and innocence.
you are older now,no more blonde hair, but your eyes
your eyes are still as blue as they were when we were children although age and wisdom has colored them a different hue.
In many ways we are different. You possess so many qualities of maturity, dignity and a dedication to helping others, all skills I someday hope to possess
When last I saw you I looked at a little boy and now before me stands a man.
A man of honor, a man of courage, a man of strength.
A man who has so much I admire.
A man I want to always know.
Bright blue eyes, baby soft skin, and everything was pure.
For years and decades we were apart,
you were just the little boy with the yellow hair and big blue eyes that peered at me through your baby pictures
Time and years and distance,
childhood, adolescence,
all the while we never knew each other.
Adulthood is where we met,
though it was like meeting for the very first time.
I never saw it coming but that is how it always happens.
It's when you aren't looking for the light that the light finds you.
Things have changed since then
since the days of Fisher Price toys and innocence.
you are older now,no more blonde hair, but your eyes
your eyes are still as blue as they were when we were children although age and wisdom has colored them a different hue.
In many ways we are different. You possess so many qualities of maturity, dignity and a dedication to helping others, all skills I someday hope to possess
When last I saw you I looked at a little boy and now before me stands a man.
A man of honor, a man of courage, a man of strength.
A man who has so much I admire.
A man I want to always know.
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